Christmas Cheer... and a Jeer

Creepy Santa & Advent Fail

Above: Holiday crafting; Sam at his last Sock Hop; recent Batman drawing.

Sam is very concerned about Santa Claus being "creepy" for the song "he knows when you are sleeping, he knows when you're awake." He's also consternated about Santa's knowing about every kid's good or bad deeds during the Christmas season - "He just says he does that to stress the parents and kids out during Christmas, to make the kids act better. Then after Christmas?: back to normal." Sam also is working his mental wheels hard on "how does he make it to all the jillions of kids around the world? I've finally concluded this: He is faster than the Flash. He HAS to be."

Meanwhile, I broke out the Advent devotional book I got last year to try to insert some Deep Thoughts and Spiritual Reflections About the Season into our dinner hour. 

That did not go well. I thought the fact that the Bible story about Jacob seeing the ladder of angels would seem kind of cool because we had JUST heard "Stairway to Heaven" on the radio... The devotion talked about how Jacob felt like a failure, but God still loved him.

"Do you ever feel like a failure?" I asked my family. 

"I feel like a failure every day... that I don't do my homework," said Phin (Josephine). "And I AM." 

"Ok, but, even if you fail at things, that doesn't make YOU a failure," I argued.

"Yes it does."

"Not you as a person. Besides, feeling like a failure is something we all do at times. Even me. Even Lisa."

Phin: "Well, OF COURSE You. But not Lisa."

"Yes, Lisa does. Right, Lisa?" I said.

Lisa: "Huh? Um - Sure?"

Phin: "No she doesn't."

Me: "Yes she does. Lisa, tell them about a time you felt like a failure."

Lisa: "Um... do you have a specific one in mind...?"

"She's not a failure," said Phin.

"Neither are you!" I said.

"Yes, I am," said Phin. Because - she is the trapper, and I'm the tiger, and she knows how to get me.  

I was getting very - emphatic - at this point. "What about a tree? Do you ever say to a tree, "You're a failure"?"

"No, that would be dumb," the kids said.

"Right. What if it loses its leaves?"

"It's supposed to."

"Right! See, a tree just IS a tree. You just ARE you. You can't be a failure. God loves you no matter what." Me. Struggling.

Sam: "What about that guy who killed Heather Heyer? Isn't he a failure?" 

Me: "Well, I mean... he didn't make good choices but... God still loves him. There's plenty of people who do bad things who change, who ask for forgiveness, who go on to do great things..." 

Everyone: "Like WHO?"

Me: "Uh... Moses! Moses was a murderer. He was running away and God still chose him to lead his people."

Lisa: "Oh, good one."

Sam: "But he was sorry. What if someone isn't sorry?"

WELL HECK. 

And that's the condensed version. 

Somewhere in there I made the mistake of saying I believed God was inside all of us - so Sam started calling ME "God." "Goodnight, God." "Hey God, will you take my glass to the kitchen?" "See ya later, God."

The next morning, Pouty the Preteen was still insisting she feels like a failure - possibly just to get a rise out of me - and Sam's concluded that the theology behind God, me, and Santa Claus is all very specious and questionable. And I have the worst nickname in history.

This is why most families have cardboard advent calendars with chocolate.